The Updates

Justus - Has started baseball up again. He had opening day and his first game yesterday. Up to bat twice, he hit and ran and came home both times. A very exciting feat. It's like he waiting and watched all last season. This is his year. He's managed to figure out the mechanics and technicalities of the game and is flourishing. Focused. Enthusiastic. but beautifully humble and engaged. I love this side of him.

Emry - Hit a bit of a snag. A very artistic girl, she wouldn't stop drawing when asked by the teacher. Simply, she wasn't finished and it just posed problematic. When 29 other students are waiting to get on with the curriculum for the day, it's an issue. A listening issue. Thinking it over, I thought perhaps the best way was to practice with her and give her a secondary outlet for her energy and a direct application to listening. We've given TaeKwonDo a try. She really likes it and gets a kick out of the fact that she can yell and run around. It's helpful for her listening skills, and for her to have some idea of how to protect herself. Since the tryout, she's been doing really well. It's an incentive for her and an all-around good time. I'm glad it's something she's enjoying. I just have to watch closely that it's not used on her brothers.

Winter - Is coming into his own with a fierce independent phase. He's trying to get the hang of explaining what he's angry about. At this point he just says a bunch of grouchy things. He'll get it. He had his first day of primary without rolling all over the floor today! No, it's a really big deal. He's doing things on his own and figuring out why it's important to be nice to people. This growing up gig can be a lot to handle. He's doing great.

Jasmine - loves naps. In fact, I'll forsake lunch on any given day to go siesta in my car for 50 minutes. Heck yeah. Blanket and pillow - I'm down. I can gauge the intensity of my day by how badly I want to sleep come 1:30. Work is fine. It's difficult to see people being laid off...there's always a gathering by an upper managment member to let us know that the lay offs don't effect us/me...i'm relieved, but sick at the same time. Like they don't effect us...yet. I can see the faces of those people...their children...and I know so much about what they're dealing with...to have this come along and to look into the eyes of a terminated employee as one spared...is awkward. What to even say to begin...It's touched so many.

I AM thankful...thankful to HAVE a job...thankful for a healthy family that's pretty well bound together. It's not perfect, but it's really good. I am thankful for these amazing little people that are mine...something solid in which I can rely. They are my reason...my why...my motivation.

May you all be blessed. Have faith. Believe.

xo,
j.

Random Oddities

- I think the lady who cooks on the lunch truck is trying to poison me. She keeps sneaking meat into my breakfast burritos. I keep giving them back. I think she's trying to convince me that it's really good. But it's really not to me.

- I've seen Twilight...a lot. Not because it's the most earth-shattering movie ever, but because it's a visual of a story i've greatly enjoyed...and because i wish that there was a human embodiment of Edward and that I could be his Bella.

- I need new music. I've been too budget conscious for the last few months. Going through my playlist I realized that all my stuff is has-been.

- I'm poor, but when I get my state tax return, I'm buying a digital SLR. I keep borrowing other people's cameras. I'd like to have my own.

- I want a house. And a dog.

- I've forgotten to wear earrings for the last 2 weeks. My ear holes may close up. Oh well.

- Wanted: Sugar Daddy. I need a treadmill, lots of Monavie, plastic surgery (after I lose many pounds), and a credit card with no ceiling to the Bare Essentuals Store/counter. No questions asked. Oh, house and dog also required.

- This week is crappy at work. These are the weeks I deeply dislike working in HR.

- SERIOUSLY WANTED: Sugar Daddy.

Stay warm, dry and happy.
xo, j.

Happy February

February used to be a weird month for me. I think almost every girl waits with some anticipation in the hopes that some amazingly beautiful, kind and fiercely (and sweetly) focused boy will ask her to be his valentine. Whatever, I know. Unrealistic, I know. A fantasy, definitely, I know. But still...I'm being honest that this place...this wish, if you will, existed for me. Point and laugh all you want, I'm over it.

A few years ago, almost 4 to be exact, this wish came true for me. An amazingly beautiful boy for whom I had anxiously waited, entered my life...and February has never been the same.

Four years old. Big. Independent. Crazy stubborn. I can't imagine where he gets it from. He's my forever valentine. It's pretty cool. I suppose you have to be careful what you wish for, you know? Even the wishes that seem far off can be held in the palms of your hands...when the timing is right.

Happy Valentines Day.

I love working with big insurance carriers. I love it even more that I'm supposed to work with one go-between-type-giggy-firm, and I can never quite tell when a circumstance requires the broker or the carrier...I'm sometimes a little fuzzy on the difference between the two, also. Additionally, it helps not that I work for a company owned by a parent corporation in Sweden, with US headquarters in Connecticut that employs THOUSANDS (well, presently) of people within the country...and that sometimes the carriers...go-betweens...whatever, get confused about who we are, who I am, and what the love is supposed to happen with our particular program. Add OLD insurance issues to the mix, beat wildly, bake at 400 degrees for about 45 minutes in a building adjacent to a huge field on day when the fertilizer smell is overwhelming until the shell is completely burnt, hardended and beyond salvage, and voila, a perfectly frustrating day!

There's the old addage, "Things are not always as they seem." I realize first hand that simple questions to one individual may not alway be so easy to another. For instance, how do I remove a terminated employee from a particular plan? A plan where the ins and outs have not been fully disclosed. A plan where, believe it or not, all those who enrolled for it last year stayed on it and none of them were terminated...it went beautifully like clock-work. It was magic. This year, after lay-offs, etc. we face new challenges with individuals being forced to walk away from said plan...well, the removal process...not so magic. I asked the carrier apparently using addresses of people who were no longer with them...I was a hair shy of sending a mass email to company with the disclaimer that I was looking for THE ONE, you know? The ONE who would know. The ONE who would understand me. The ONE who could answer my very detailed, intricate question. HOW THE BLOODY LOVE DO I REMOVE THIS PERSON?!!? Please, my kingdom for this employee to GET OFF MY PLAN!!! No one can tell me. Now, mind you, the last few days have offered a comprehensive education in how to convert the employee from one kind of plan to another, but I NEVER ASKED HOW TO CONVERT THE EMPLOYEE!!!! So, clearly, simply...asking how to perform a task like removing someone is not as clear, not as simple as I perceive...I'm guessing that if it were as simple as I thought it would be, I would know how to pull it off right now as I write. But alas, I don't. Lucky me, I have a few more days to threaten, mock, complain and eye-roll over the situation.

So my point is this, even when you think things are easy, don't be surprised if the simple things get snagged because it's too convoluted to understand...likewise, don't be surprised if the quantum mechanics go on without a hitch. Apparently, everyone involved in the complex details speak the same language.

xo,
j.

Duh

Things that make me crazy...in January of 2009:
- people who can't/don't/won't keep their word
- people who ram their ideology (welcome or not) down your throat
- funky people who totally burp and then ask if that was you
- people who steal my enchiladas
- people who hem and haw over not REMOTELY dramatic things that then BECOME dramatic just by the air they are expelling...please.
- manipulators
- selfish, bratty people

pbthtttt

Things that make me more sane in the face of lame things:
- cuddling with sleeping my sleeping babies
- friends who laugh with me because they've done it
- twilight (admitting I am a junkie)
- yoga
- prayer
- hugs
- the BOM
- touching the softest cheeks ever of a baby of mine...does it for me.

In the face of inevitable stupidity, there's always something that will counter the offense.
The world is well...as well as we make it.

xo, j.

New Beginning

My poor neglected blog...good thing it's not a pet or something alive for which I am responsible...it would be dead. I'm glad there aren't any blog-rights activists at this point. I would so be fined...arrested...convicted and guilt-laden for my skinny, dieing blog. I'd like to say that my resolution is to be better at this whole deal, but it's not. My resolution is to do bikram yoga 5 times a week. Sorry blog. Add that to my fine list. Seriously, this 2009 thing has given me clarity about one thing: Priority. The other night as I was doing my heaping laundry while simultaneously running a list of things I needed to do through my head to get 2 kids ready to start their school tracks again, my boss prepared for a business trip with the big wigs in Orlando, and keep my other little business nurtured, there came this greatly welcomed but typically ignored voice of reason...and the voice said, "Pick."

My reality is that I have two hands...and despite their very impressive production levels (to most extents) there is (inevitably) more that is left undone. 24 hours in a day, 2 hands versus 3 kids, job, love, extra business...you can laugh now, it won't hurt my feelings. It was the laughing at my self with the bigger picture goggles on the other day that snapped me back into this whole "Who are you kidding?" space. Even if I had extra hands, extra hours in the day, WHATEVER I think I need to make everything happen...there would still be more to do...and not enough to do it. So, surrender to it (I love the yoga frame of mind)...I washed several loads and put them all away properly...but there are more loads out there sitting patiently by the washer. (Good thing there's not a neglected laundry patrol...again, arrested, convicted, etc.) The other loads will still be there when I get to them on another day this week. I made dinner...and put everything away, but there are dishes. I admit it...which dropped in priority when kids needed help with baths. Clean plates or a potential drown scene...pick. Um hmmm. The dishes will need to wait, too. The good news is that my chilies are bathed, lotioned, tooth brushed, flossed, with clean ears, clothes and scriptures read and prayers said along with kisses, hugs and tuck ins...and I'm tired. So there we have it. I can either stay up until the crack and be worthless tomorrow...or I can crash (addtionally because it's a Sunday and I went without a nap) and be prepared for a productive tomorrow. And be in a fairly good mood about it. Pick.

So, I pick rest. I pick a good frame of mind. I pick preparation. I pick a healthier, more well rounded girl...figuratively, remember? LOTS more yoga this year.

Kids are doing well. Chomping at the bit to start school again. They're all amazing, healthy and beautiful. Things are good.

Happy New Year, all.

He is Amazing

He's 8...and he's made that decision to be baptized. He prepared and prayed...he interviewed and considered...and as of yesterday, he's done it. It was a beautiful day. 

He's always been an amazing kid to me. Even when he was born he had this little face and these eyes that were full of intent. He's not aggressive or harsh. For the most part he's very mellow and easy-going. He has this kindness about him, too...he's forgiving and tender. I love these things about him.

His confirmation blessing was powerful...everything about 

yesterday was powerful.

I feel greatly blessed to have him in my life. I feel honored to be present and a deep responsibility to prepare him well for the things that will come.

Thank you, friends and family for your support in all things!